This Life Coaching blog will be updated regularly with all sorts of general information including articles, quotes, news and my thoughts etc... Please feel free to add your comments, ideas, quotes and opinions etc.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

What is Life Coaching?

Coaching is a form of learning, where a coach supports a client in their self development. One thing that all forms of coaching seem to have in common is that people are using coaches to help improve something or move forward in a certain direction.

One simple example is that of a sports coach. Here, the coach supports the individual to improve their performance and get better results. The role of a coach is to apply specific principles of success, in a way that creates learning and improvement.

This is no different for a Life Coach – the principle is the same.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Positive Attitude

“A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)

Mark Twain Quote

“The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.” Mark Twain

Monday, October 24, 2005

Relaxation - thoughts of a Life Coach

I haven’t got time to relax – really? Have you got time not too?

Being able to relax is important to achieving optimal performance and health. You name it; being relaxed will increase your productivity in it. If you're not relaxed, everything you do will be a struggle. Relaxation provides mind-body integration necessary for peak performance.

It is important to relax to get your mind clear and your body tension free; to regain focus and to cool down and to help return to a balanced physical state. Relaxation is vital for a healthy mind and is required to maintain motivation and interest in our lives and careers. Not being able to relax and unwind can be damaging to your health. Even when there are huge demands on your life, you may have a large family, an important career, and a home amongst your other weekly commitments - it is still necessary to find your own time and space to relax.


It is very important that throughout the day we find time to relax. Twenty minutes, two or three times a day, is preferred. If you can’t manage twenty minutes, it’s important to realise that whatever amount of time you do manage to get to relax will be beneficial to your mind and body, even if not noticeably so.


When time is short there are a number of things you can do: reading, writing, daydreaming or just sitting quietly. Quite often what ever you do to relax will be personal and work for you, so you need to find what works best.


As a Life Coach I have worked with numerous people with issues relating to relaxation and stress etc. It’s interesting that initially many find it difficult to slow down and see the benefits of taking more time out. However after a few weeks and a couple of life coaching sessions focused on this area, and a bit of commitment on their part, most change their ways and wax lyrical about the benefits to their lives.


Some of the common benefits of relaxation are:



  • It improves your ability to concentrate. It will help you in your ability to tune out distractions and gives you better sensory awareness

  • It improves body awareness; you need to know when you are under or over doing it

  • It speeds up healing time following an injury and fatigue, the body needs to recover fully if it’s going to perform at an optimal level in the near future

  • Learning is enhanced, it is much easier to introduce new thoughts and ideas when your mind is clear and you are relaxed. Skills are best learned when you are in a relaxed state and there is an absence of tension

  • It helps you sleep better

  • You become more efficient

  • It puts your focus back on the present and gives you a sense of control

  • It increases energy


If you don’t take the time to unwind and relax regularly, you might be putting not only your own health and well-being at risk but also that of others as well.


In relation to your responsibility to the health and safety of others; we only have to think of driving a car, or operating machinery, and how our ability to do these tasks diminishes when we are tense, tired and stressed. So in fact our responsibility to relax is not just for our own sake but also for that of others.


With regards to our own health and emotional well-being, if we don’t make time to relax regularly we are putting our health and mental health at risk of failure.


Some of the effects of lack of relaxation are below:


  • Headache, common ones being tension headaches and migraines. Controlling tension and relaxing can help migraines. Tension headaches are susceptible by definition to treatment by relaxation

  • Chronic fatigue, your body is in a total sate of fatigue. You suffer from total lack of energy and motivation all of the time

  • Cardiovascular disorders, high blood pressure and heart disease, heart attack

  • Gastrointestinal problems, diarrhoea, constipation and stomach ulcers as well as indigestion and heartburn

  • Poor immune system, becoming susceptible to illness


Early warning signs that we need to have a break and relax are:


  • Yawning/sighing

  • Lack of concentration

  • Feeling the urge to stretch and move about

  • General drop in performance

  • Feelings of stress and irritability

  • Performing uncommon errors

  • Tiredness


If we are aware of the signs and take notice of them and take a break etc, you could avoid a lot of stress and fatigue, you will be more rational and focused, and better equipped to carry on, and be far healthier.


Spending a lifetime of ignoring the signs could impact heavily, not only on your health, well-being and happiness but also those around you. Relationships could suffer as well as your career. On a personal note, the consequences of not taking time to relax over a lifetime could mean you pay the ultimate price.


You say you don’t have time to relax. I say you don’t have time not too. You are your own best resource; you need to take time to nurture and look after yourself.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Assertiveness a dilemma.

Many people are not assertive because they are afraid of displeasing others or not being liked.  You may avoid some immediate confrontation and unpleasantness by not being assertive.  But you could also risk relationships in the long run if you’re constantly unable to assert yourself. This can lead to low self-esteem and lack of confidence and can become a routine way of life for some people.

 

In my experience as a Life Coach I have found that a lot of people are willing to accept the cost of their unhappiness rather than speak up for themselves. Essentially saying I know I have been wronged or I’m unhappy with something, but I’d rather live with that than explain how I feel to the person responsible.

 

Being assertive is the balance between being aggressive and passive.  You have the right to have feelings and to express these feelings in ways that do not violate the rights of other people.  You have the right to be human, to have your needs met, to be able to change your mind, and to make mistakes.  You can make your own decisions and to live your own life as you choose as long as this doesn’t hurt others or abuse their rights.

 

You must remember though - other individuals have a right to respond to your assertiveness, or even be assertive themselves. An encounter with another assertive individual should involve negotiating an agreeable compromise, hopefully with a win win outcome, where everyone is satisfied.

 

Assertiveness goes hand in hand with a person’s confidence and overall effectiveness.  Being assertive can help strengthen relationships, reduce stress, improve your self-image, and make you more successful.  On the whole successful people are generally assertive.  To be successful, as well as meeting the needs of others you are going to have to have your own needs met.  If you can’t assert yourself in this way it will make life far more difficult, and success will be harder to achieve.  In effect you become powerless to get your wants and needs met.

 

At the end of the day, if you’re assertive and aware of your own basic human rights and the rights of others you will get far more out of life for yourself and the people around you.

 

Remember though – you have the right to be assertive, but never rude or obnoxious. Your assertiveness should never be at the cost of another’s personal feelings or rights. 

 

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Why is it....

Why is it so difficult for us to admit we are wrong when there is nothing more helpful to resolving a problem or argument than doing so?

Friday, October 14, 2005

Phoenix Website Solutions

I just wanted to say thanks to Phoenix Website Solutions for their help with my website.

Check them out for any website issues/problems at http://www.phoenixwebsitesolutions.co.uk

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Five Thoughts about Effective Communication

Five Thoughts about Effective Communication

By Jackie Fletcher of Transitions Life Coaching

Communicating effectively can sometimes be difficult to do. So here are some thoughts, based on borrowed wisdom, on how to communicate clearly – and make a better connection with the other person too.

“To get your ideas across use small words, big ideas, and short sentences.” ~ John Henry Patterson

Keep it simple and don’t use jargon. Adjust your style according to who you are communicating with. Take responsibility by checking frequently that the other person understands the message you are trying to convey – don’t assume that your message is always clear.

“People who talk only of themselves think only of themselves.” ~ Dale Carnegie

Find out about the other person. Focus on the other person – their needs, their wants, their situation. Build rapport instead of barriers. Show respect for them and for their views.

“One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other's stories.” ~ Rebecca Falls

Giving someone space in which to talk and allowing them to follow through their ideas without fear of interruption is a most valuable gift. Listen. And switch off your mobile phone!

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” ~ Stephen Covey

Be in the moment and give the speaker your full attention. Say “what else do you need to tell me about this?” Summarise key points that show you have been listening actively and ask questions that will help clarify your understanding of the issue.

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." ~ Mother Teresa

Be nice! Acknowledge someone’s efforts and achievements, praise them, pay them a sincere compliment.

Jackie Fletcher is a life satisfaction and mentor coach, working with busy professionals, small business owners and new coaches, helping them create and live the life they really want – balanced, successful and happy. For more information visit http://www.transitionslifecoaching.co.uk/

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Genius

"Genius is the capacity to make all possible mistakes in the least amount of time." - Niels Henrik David Bohr Danish Physicist

Monday, October 03, 2005

OSKAR is a framework for solution focused coaching:

  • OUTCOME:
  1. What is the objective of this coaching?
  2. What do you want to achieve today?
  • SCALING:
  1. On a scale of 0 to 10, with 0 representing the worst it has ever been and 10 the preferred future, where would you put the situation today?
  2. You are at ? now; what did you do to get this far?
  3. How would you know you had got to ?+1?
  • KNOW-HOW & RESOURCES:
  1. What helps you perform at ? on the scale, rather than 0?
  2. When does the outcome already happen for you - even a little bit?
  3. What did you did to make that happen? How did you do that?
  • AFFIRM AND ACTION:
  1. What's already going well?
  2. What is the next small step?
  3. You are at ? now, what would it take to get you to ?+1?
  • REVIEW:
  1. What's better?
  2. What did you do that made the change happen?
  3. What effects have the changes had?
  4. What do you think will change next?
The OSCAR coaching model was created by Paul Jackson. For more info on OSCAR and Solution Focus Coaching check out Paul's website