Five Thoughts on Being Happy

Five Thoughts on Being Happy
By Jackie Fletcher

Happiness can sometimes seem rather elusive. So here are some thoughts, based on borrowed wisdom, on how to feel happy – and how to realise you can actually be happy right now.

“In our minds, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but rather gratefulness that makes us happy.” ~ Albert Clark.

Every day write down, or say out loud, ten things for which you are grateful. What we focus on expands, so focus on the good things. Acknowledge and be grateful for a whole range of things – your eyesight, health, friends and family, the sunshine, the clothes on your back, ability to drive. Life is good!

"Remember happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think." ~ Dale Carnegie.

Monitor your thoughts for a few days. What self chatter is going on? Do those thoughts serve you, make you feel good? No? Then begin to say positive supportive things to yourself, and choose to stop paying attention to the negative thoughts that cross your mind. You wouldn’t say negative things to your best friend – treat yourself the same way.

"If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes." ~ Andrew Carnegie.

Have something specific to work towards – some purpose in life that really fires you up. Achieving it will feel fantastic and fulfilling – and working towards it will also feel great. Have some focus, some meaning in your life.

“Every day, the happy person does at least one difficult thing.” ~ Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

Try something new, something that stretches and challenges you. Join an evening class, jog an extra mile, write to a long lost friend, achieve something different – surprise yourself!

"You wander from room to room hunting for the diamond necklace that is already around your neck!" ~ Jalal-Uddin Rumi.

Instead of thinking you will be happy when you change jobs, move house, or meet that new partner, realise that you can choose to accept and experience happiness now – it is not conditional on the external factors you are seeking, but is already inside you.

Copyright Jackie Fletcher 2005

Jackie Fletcher is a life satisfaction and mentor coach, working with busy professionals, small business owners and new coaches, helping them create and live the life they really want – balanced, successful and happy. Jackie has recently published an ebook collection of 2000 quotations. For more information visit http://www.transitionslifecoaching.co.uk/career.php

Assertiveness And Goals

Take Charge - Assertiveness And Goals
By Paddy Landau

You think you know what you want. But how do you get it? And do
you really want it?
I felt fed up. So, I went to the airport. "Please sell me a
ticket to somewhere lovely," I asked. Yes sir, where
specifically? "Oh, somewhere that I'll feel great and at ease
with myself!" Yes, but I need to know where, specifically! "Uh,
yeah, look, just sell me ticket to somewhere great, OK?" Well,
take this ticket. I've always wanted to go there! "Thanks!"

I ended up touring roller coasters throughout the world. The
seller's idea of a dream holiday, but not mine! You see, if you
don't know precisely what you want, and have goals that match
your values, you won't get what you want!

A study of Yale University graduates from 1953–1973 found that
the 3% that had written goals achieved more in 20 years than
the combined efforts of the other 97%. In other words, they
achieved well over 30 times greater success! Successful people
— from Donald Trump to Anthony Robbins — know their goals and
personal values precisely.

Follow these simple steps to create written goals and start the
journey to your dream life.

Figure out your desires

Take a fresh piece of paper and a sit in a quiet room. List
everything you want in life. List:

What you want to have or own (e.g. a red Ferrari, a leather
sofa, new shoes)
What you want to do (e.g. go on a hot-air balloon ride, lose
weight, learn a new language)
How you want to feel (e.g. confident, tolerant, peaceful)

Go crazy! Let yourself go! Don't worry about making your goals
"realistic" — that comes later.
You may find it helps to think of the following areas of your
life.

Money & finances
Health & fitness

Fun & adventure
Career & work
Friends & family
Physical environment

Romance & relationships
Personal & spiritual growth

Check the ethics

Now, for each goal, ask yourself, "How many of areas of my life
will it improve?" Subtract one for each area it will seriously
damage. For example, a new Ferrari might improve Fun &
adventure and Physical environment, but will seriously damage
Money & finances, so it scores only 1. (If your partner would
leave you over this, subtract another one for Romance &
relationships!)

Look at your scores. Goals with higher scores provide more
value to your life. Goals with lower scores distract you from
finding happiness! How many surprises did you have? Did you
have any negative scores?

Act!

Choose your three most important goals. Word them positively;
as precisely as possible; and in the present as if you've
already achieved them. For example, instead of, "I want to lose
2 stone," write, "I fit size 12 jeans." Instead of, "I don't
want to be shy," write, "I smile warmly and show genuine
interest when meeting new people."

Now, for each goal, write down one thing that you can do this
week to move towards that goal. Write them down on paper. Stick
them on your bathroom mirror, inside your purse or wallet, and
so on.
Revise your goals every week (some goals will change. Let it
happen). You will get "somewhere nice" sooner than you think!

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and
expecting a different result.— Albert Einstein.

About the Author: Paddy Landau, Hypnotherapist and Life Coach
based in Oxford UK Change Fast — with Hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT
and Life Coaching http://www.landau.ws

Instant Meditation

Instant Meditation
By Paddy Landau

There is so much to do. There is so little time. We must go
slowly.— Taoist saying

Last month, when my wife broke her back, I spent a while using
hypnosis to help her relieve the pain. As I was doing so, I
noticed various thoughts floating across my mind. I thought
about how lucky she is that the break will heal. I thought
about how lucky most of us are, living with no ills or with
only minor ills. And, I wondered at how so many people squander
their luck to bad food, bad stress and bad decisions.

In certain ways, these three things feed on each other. We feel
stressed, so we eat bad food. We eat bad food, which makes it
harder to cope with stress. We then have more stress, so we
make bad decisions. And so on. But, if you can improve one of
these, it helps to make the others better.

Many people have found that a great way to defeat stress and
improve decisions is to meditate. However, meditation can take
a long time to master — years, or even decades, according to
some. But new discoveries can help. Researchers have measured
people's brainwaves and found out what happens when meditating
successfully. They've also compared these brainwaves to
"normal" people, and to people that have achieved high levels
of happiness.

Over the years, we've found ways to alter our brainwaves
deliberately. Some methods use simple machines that create
patterns of light or sound. Some methods use certain ways of
talking. There's meditation, of course, older than we have
records. And some methods take moments and are quick and easy
to master.

So, today, I decided to describe a simple way to alter your
brainwaves to a relaxed state known as "alpha". This is the
same as going into a light state of meditation. In this state,
you can relax, feel calm, and think new thoughts. And, of
course, you can diminish pain — physical or emotional. As a
young child, I hated dentists' injections, and insisted that
the dentist drill without using any pain relief. Although I
didn't know it at the time, I was entering an alpha state while
the dentist drilled and filled.

How to "instantly" meditate

Unlike standard meditation, it's not necessary to focus on a
single thought. In fact, it's OK to allow your mind to wander
and to think of whatever thoughts happen across your mind as
you do this easy exercise.

Sit in a comfortable chair, where you can safely close your
eyes. It's OK if there is moderate noise and movement around
you — it doesn't have to be quiet and still!

Take a deep breath in; hold for a moment; and relax, breathing
out. Do this three or four times.

Stare at a fixed point, perhaps on the wall. Without taking
your eyes off that point, start to notice just how far to the
left you can notice things around you. Then, do the same with
the right. Still looking at the one point, allow your vision to
expand up and down. You may be surprised at just how much you
can notice going on around you. Keeping your expanded vision,
you can stop staring at the one point.

Start to notice just how much you can hear. The little noises
that you hadn't noticed… the far-away noises that had passed
you by. Don't concentrate on any single noise. Instead, just
let every noise, near or far, loud or soft, enter into your
awareness.

While continuing to notice your vision and hearing, start to
notice how much you can feel. The chair you sit on; the
temperature and movement of the air; the feelings in your back
and feet…

Keep your awareness on your vision, sound and feelings. At some
point, you may find you want to close your eyes. You may also
find that your thoughts start to wander, without you asking
them to. Stay there for as long as you want.

With enough practice, you'll find you can start to enter this
state in seconds. It's a great way to unwind when you feel
overwhelmed by life!

About the Author: Paddy Landau, Hypnotherapist and Life Coach
based in Oxford UK Change Fast — with Hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT
and Life Coaching http://www.landau.ws

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